Marriage After An Affair When She Cheats (For Men, Why Women Cheat)
Posted: Tuesday, October 27, 2009
by Shane Boyd
http://www.shane-boyd.com
Marriage after an affair is doable, but not easy. Nobody said your marriage was going to be easy; however it just makes it worse when your wife had an affair. In order to understand how to deal with an affair, you'll need to know why she cheated in the first place. In this article you'll read about 5 reasons why women cheat on their spouse.
One reason why women cheat on their husbands is they no longer get the attention they deserve from their husbands. [Notice I said deservedvery important]. For example, the first year of marriage the husband may have bragged on her cooking. Now, he hasn't mentioned her cooking in years.
Many times when the man comes home from work, he'll walk in the door without really acknowledging his wife or giving her a kiss. You see, men don't really care about the whole kiss and hug business, but women do. And fellas, if it's important to our wives it should be important to us. Without that acknowledgement she begins to feel isolated and pushed away. Now, when your wife goes to work or night class for college and another man is nice to her and maybe opens a door for her, she again feels important.
Another reason women cheat is their husbands don't spend quality time with them. If the husband spends more time watching T.V, than talking to his wife then he's failing her. Just because the husband is home doesn't mean he's spending quality time with his wife. Things like reading book or working on the computer without giving attention to his wife can again make her feel abandoned by her husband and any attention she gets from another man can make her feel important.
A third reason why women cheat is she's feeling less confident in herself than she used to. Married couples begin to feel real comfortable with each other over time and compliments stop being given. The husband stops acknowledging her and the wife begins to feel low and unimportant. Now, if another man at work or school begins to adore her, give her compliments and asks her out for lunch, once again she feels important and alive again.
The fourth reason a women cheats is intimacy. Yes, women do cheat because of sex. Women like sex as much as men do, don't let them tell you any different. Sex offers physical satisfaction to both the husband and wife. And if the husband stops being intimate with his wife, she'll crave that physical attention. Some women will act on it and look for sex outside of marriage. It happens.
The last reason we'll discuss about why women cheat is finances. I don't want to imply that women are gold diggers because they aren't. But, here's the scenario. The couple has a mortgage, two car payments, day care, utility bills, school, groceries, credit card bills and a laundry list of other items that drain the bank account each month leaving the family financially desolate. If another man in her life (a co-worker or co-ed student) begins to offer her some "bling" or offers to take her to some fancy restaurant, she may feel the urge to cheat. Even if it's just for fun.
Like I said earlier in this article, in order to deal with an affair you'll have to know why the affair happened. More often than not it could have been avoided if you would have paid more attention to her or vice versa. If you love her, then the marriage is worth pursuing and I wish you the best with that. Seek help from a counselor, a church member, or books and courses you can find online. Remember, a wife is for life.
If you are in the position where your partner has cheated on you, your trust in them is likely to be shattered. Learn how to survive an affair and save your marriage if you have been cheated on. Visit Save Your Marriage After An Affair for more information.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)men cheat for 'sport';women cheat for some real or imagined slight in their relationship;the book title ;"Every Other Marriage" says it perfectly.Perhaps monogamy just does not work,just perhaps
hmmm...being a woman, I am not sure if its the attention that I want, so much as respect and a man who will take responsibility and be leader (not dictator) in the home. Women don't want to be a man's mama and pick up his underwear! I'm attracted to a man who is respected in the community and others find interesting. Yes, it gets old and tiredsome to have a man lounging around in a t-shirt and looking like he hasn't shaved or brushed his teeth! When a man takes a woman out on the town, she is reminded of the competition and will consider this!
Good article. Welcome to Search Warp.Linda D
If you have been committed to a marriage then you shouldn't really be cheating full stop.
Thanks for the article, Shane. Good job.
Thank you for all of you who have commented. Your feedback is helpful to me. I look forward to reviewing all of your articles as well. Peace. Shane
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